"Everything at the same time is full of both light and dark." Lao-Tzu

​

When you're feeling stuck or unhappy in life, it is so easy to think in black and white terms. You feel either hopeful or fearful. Your job is either good or bad. Your romantic partner is either right or wrong. You might feel satisfaction or you might feel regret over past actions. And though this might seem natural to you, it's actually just the way the Western world has been taught to think. Aristotle had something to do with this. He looked at the whole of knowledge and wisdom and concluded that it would be easier to understand life if we looked at each aspect of anything separately; in other words, wisdom and knowledge would increase if we used analysis to study things. And it makes sense, and it does make understanding easier to some extent. I've even divided this site into sections, and I definitely analyzed Taoism even before I considered writing about it. Interestingly, though, Lao Tzu did not organize his ideas this way. We struggle to see a singular theme in any of his verses, concepts are repeated seemingly haphazardly throughout his work, and just when you think a verse is focused on one idea, something entirely new is thrown in at the end.

 

Though it seems easier to understand things when we separate them and organize them, in reality, life is one great whole, and we can't truly understand one thing without considering its relationship to everything else. I can't fully understand who I am without considering my relationships to other people. I can't know fully what it's like to be healthy unless I've been sick. Even how I experience something as simple as turning on a lightbulb depends on what light is already present. So although our natural inclination might be to say, "This is white, this is black. This is strong, this is weak. And of course this is good, this is bad," treating these qualities as completely separate dims our understanding of reality and how life really works.  

 

Rather than being separate forces, these pairs are eternally connected like two sides of the same coin, dancing beside each other throughout the universe, in the situations we encounter, and within our own psyche. The terms yang and yin literally mean light side of the hill and darkness. It's easy to picture that hill and also to understand that it really is the same hill but simply presents itself in two different ways. In life it works like this: I grew up with a single mom who worked three jobs to support my two brothers and me. My mother refused to ask for help, and we had so little. I remember one Christmas all i received was a Seventeen magazine and two yards of fabric (we sewed our own clothes). It was so little. The situation was intensified by the fact that we happened to live on the edge of a very wealthy area filled with large, old-money houses and of course wealthy parents and children. I felt so shut out of life, like I just wasn't as good as these children born into not only wealthy but for the most part two-parent, seemingly perfect families. But my mother was a thinker and she was as good as people come. And so this combination - being forced to feel the weight of rejection and poverty but in a home where truth and love abounded - set me up to be quite a sensitive, thinking and grateful person. It became second nature to see what really mattered in life and to seek that. Though at the time I felt so ashamed of our family, later I realized it was lie's greatest gift to me.

 

Something similar happened to Viktor Frankl, the founder of the existential theory of psychotherapy. As a young man he was And so it is in every life and every situation. We may expect things to be one way. We might consider this  And so this is the meaning of the Yin Yang symbol that has come to symbolize the entirety of Taoism: That complementary forces are eternally connected throughout life, separate but intertwined, influencing and blending into and balancing each other to support the universe as well as our individual lives. Some would say the key task of a Taoist is to recognize and maintain a balance between those opposing forces. In fact, some say Taoism arose out of this dilemma. Another term for this concept is "dual nature"; that is, that everything in life depends on two opposing forces. And at its core this is true: every atom in the universe is made up of a negatively charged electron and a positively charged proton, their eternal resistance giving way to this small thing we call life. One is no better than the other, and without both, life wouldn't exist.

​

When we realize the dual nature of all things, we stop categorizing things and instead recognize reality as an ever- changing continuum. It's easier to let go of our obsession with getting the best for ourselves because we realize there is no "best," there is only real, and real is full of both positive and negative. We also accept that with the "good" in life will come "bad," so we stop expecting everything to be perfect. We also recognize that what might appear to be bad may actually be good, sometimes overwhelmingly good. One of my favorite, albeit unsavory, metaphors involves something brown and smelly: manure. Can there be anything more disgusting than animal waste? And yet, spread it in a garden and beautiful flowers will grow. Without it, they wither and wilt, and their colors dim. It makes no sense! How could something so abhorrent to the senses help create something so quintessentially beautiful? Our natural reaction when the "manure" of life comes to us, as it always does, is that it is bad. "Why do bad things always happen to me?" "How can I make my life better?" And if we can't avoid it or get rid of it, we try to hide it and ignore it, thinking we can avoid its influence if we pretend it's not there. But when we understand the dual nature of all things, we realize that although in one way something may seem like a painful disaster, we also realize it could be considered a stroke of good fortune that may bring unexpected opportunities for growth, beauty and joy. Might the experience be difficult? Yes. Might it be painful? Yes. But when we observe nature, we see that nothing worthwhile comes without struggle and pain. When we understand that everything in life holds both positive and negative, we come to understand that life is more like riding a wave than reaching a destination and more about patience, wisdom and balance than brute conquering. When we have this understanding, suddenly nothing we encounter can destroy our sense of peace and joy. We understand that all things work together, at least in the long term, for the goodness of ourselves and the universe.

​

Author Notes: what is a bad man but a good man's student? ​The Great Continuum in Nature

​

​

The Masculine (Yang) and the Feminine (Yin)​

Know the Yang, yet keep to the Yin. - Lao Tzu

​One of the key dichotomies Lao Tzu identifies is the masculine (Yang) and the feminine (Yin). Lao Tzu did not mean to imply that men are Yang and women are Yin; he just sees these as opposing forces that to some degree may be aligned with gender (although gender is just one loose formal manifestation of the forces). Rather than get caught up in considering if a female is all Yin and a male all Yang, I prefer to think the forces have simply been named as masculine and feminine for ease of understanding. The most important point, though, is that by understanding the masculine and feminine forces, we have an additional way to understand how the universe works beyond good and evil or positive and negative. When we begin to recognize these opposing forces in our selves and our lives, we can work to balance them, a key to well-being.

Consider the qualities of each . . .

​

Yang, the masculine, is characterized by light, daytime, summer, action, enthusiasm, force, physical strength, directness, reliance on mental acuity, extroversion, logic, sun, fire, heat, production, solidity, upward thrust, dryness, rigidity, reactiveness, sending out, the future, dominance, activity, speed, positive, full, even numbers.

 

Yin, the feminine, is characterized by darkness, winter, coldness, the moon, intuition, imagination, stillness, quiet, nurturance, introversion, contemplation, downward energy, softness, moisture, sadness, slowness, mutability, receptivity, repetitive action, taking in, emptiness, resting, structure/receptacle, the present or past, flexibility, negative, odd numbers.  

​

You may read these differences and wonder why these forces are at the center of all existence. You might also have noticed how Western society seems to value Yang over Yin. Work hard and you will succeed. Stand up for your rights and make your voice heard. Only losers are weak. The underlying philosophy of modern society is that strength and drive are essential to finding success and satisfaction.  But Lao Tzu says just the opposite. He says "Know the Yang, yet keep to the Yin." In other words, embrace the Yin in your day to day life, but use Yang when necessary. This means your default should be softness, quietness, following your intuition, listening, being flexible and nurturing and NOT strength, force, loudness and power. Lao Tzu tells us to be "like water" throughout the Tao Te Ching. Why? Water is soft and accommodating; it can never be broken but through its soft, slow flexibility it harnesses incredible strength. This is the great strength of the universe, not the solid, explosive strength of Yang. When we rely on soft strength, we become undefeatable.  How different our world would be if Yin was truly the default force.

​

We can see Yin and Yang manifest in animals. Horses are typically docile, soft, deferring, and gentle - Yin. When faced with a threat, they become agitated, stiff and aggressive, more Yang. But their default state is Yin. 

​

Still, the key is balance. Someone who is completely Yin may be prone to depression, complacency, stagnation, and abuse. Someone who is too Yang will be prone to anger, exhaustion, overthinking, and a controlling and critical attitude.

​

Yin and Yang At Work

I was a high school teacher for much of my adult life. I decided to become a teacher because I loved literature. I loved reading and discussing truth and coming to understand the best way to live life. It made me feel peaceful and at one with myself. These are all very Yin activities, and I would say my personality is very Yin. Then I became a teacher. Suddenly I had to take control of a class. I had to speak, not think and listen, eight hours a day. I had to constantly enforce rules and impose consequences. On assignments I had to make quick but often harsh judgments about my students and their work, when my inclination was simply to tell everyone how wonderful they were. These teaching responsibilities were extremely Yang, but I was a very Yin person.  After about a week I felt completely depleted. Yet, I continued to do this for 13 years! It wasn't until I started studying Taoism that I recognized that this work was completely misaligned with my true Yin nature. Although my Yin side did come out as we talked about literature and as I interacted with the students one-on-one, and although I was appreciated for this side of things, all in all I felt like a failure because I could not be Yang enough. Teaching also requires speed. Yin is slow, and I was slow and thorough. When I finally left teaching and was honest with who I was and my true nature, I accepted that I needed to do something much more Yin with my life. In my heart I knew I was a lover of truth and beauty, a writer, a nurturer, and an explorer. I had mistakenly gone into teaching mostly because I didn't realize it would require me to be someone I am not. Could I have found a way to maintain my Yin nature and still be a successful teacher? Perhaps, and I believe there are teachers out there that are able to do that. But I didn't understand myself well enough to be able to make those adjustments. My hat goes off to those brave Yin souls who are able to balance the challenges of teaching with their own natural inclinations.

In general, work presents us with challenges. The most typical way to meet a challenge is with Yang, and it seems most jobs expect a Yang response. And some people are more naturally Yang. If you are truly Yin, I suggest trying to find work that values Yin and allows you to be your natural self. Accept that being able to be yourself and follow your true nature is perhaps the most important thing to consider when selecting a career, definitely more important than potential earnings or prestige. If your job does require a Yang response, be aware of that and slip into Yang only when necessary. Try to keep Yin as your default approach as much as possible. If your nature is Yang, choose a career that relies on Yang qualities. But realize the limits of Yang, and seek to cultivate Yin within yourself, especially as it pertains to your personal life.

​

Form vs. Formless

Another key dichotomy in Taoism is the formal and the formless. That is, everything that has a physical form or manifestation (e.g. the physical body, the physical world, an object, an observed action) has a formless equivalent (e.g., a person's spirit, invisible physical forces such as gravity and magnetism, emotions). And although Lao Tzu says "we have a basic understanding of this, Western society tends to focus on the formal or visible aspects of life, often completely ignoring the formless. But it is the formless that truly moves the world. Verse 25 of the TTC says

​

There was something formless and perfect
before the universe was born.
It is serene. Empty.
Solitary. Unchanging.
Infinite. Eternally present.
It is the mother of the universe.
For lack of a better name,
I call it the Tao.
It flows through all things,
inside and outside, and returns
to the origin of all things.

(SM)

​

Before their was form, there was the formless. The formless is the essence of life. When we lose sight of this, we lose sight of the essence of life itself. When we see and value only the formal, when we judge ourselves and others by appearances or physical manifestations, when what is most important about a person has little to do with how they appear, we are missing the essence of life. When we value the formal over the formless, we seek physical things to make ourselves happy or we are concerned with how everything about our lives appears to others, when what matters most will only be detected by those who are in tune with the formless. The formal in life is an illusion, just a trace manifestation of the formless. Even our deep fears about death are rooted in an overvaluing of the formal, physical world. We know the most important aspect of who we are is our spirit, the formless. We also know that energy is never lost. Why are we so concerned then that our existence will end with the death of our physical body? With ourselves as with everything in life, it is the formless that is the essence of life, and when we become aware of the formless and make it the priority, our lives are transformed. As Antoine St. Exupery said, "{W]hat is essential is invisible to the eye."

​

Art: Where the Formal and Formless Meet

You may be reading these words and wanting to say, "But the formal does matter! We exist in a formal world, and the formal brings security, joy and beauty to life." I agree. But I think the value of anything formal relies on how aligned the form is with the formless. And this is what happens when art is created. An artist (or musician or architect or perhaps even scientist) seeks to create something that reflects the formless or in some way enhances the formless. But the creation of the formal relies on the formless. When this relationship is severed, the formal loses its value and beauty. We recognize when something is connected to the formless because we see it as beautiful or perfectly useful. It delights us because, again, it is stemming from the perfect and eternally meaningful formless. It is when the formal ignores the formless or is opposed to the formless that it loses its value. And it is when we start valuing the formal with no thought for the formless that we lose sight of what life is about and what can bring us peace and contentment.

​​

Under Construction

A Light in the Darkness

The Value of Confusion ​

Tai Chi​

The Concept of Non-Separation

In essence, Taoism suggests that nothing in life is truly separate but part of a continuum or part of the great whole. Although we see ourselves as individuals, in reality we are all just individual expressions of the Tao, the great whole. Rather than rob us of our sense of identity, this perspective can help us feel connected to others and feel less inclined to judge and hurt them. When Lao Tzu said ​

The Only Constant is Change​

Effect of Valuing Only One Side

"When people see some things as beautiful,
other things become ugly. When people see some things as good,
other things become bad. "

When only the positive is valued, people begin to seek that valued thing over balance or truth.

 

​Understanding that the dichotomies are connected also helps us be more accepting of change. Death is necessary to make way for new life. 

​

When "Bad" Things Happen

Although the Tao is the way of peace, and many find peace and contentment in following it, this doesn't mean life is perfect and painless. A question that commonly comes up is, "If the Tao is perfect, why is there immense suffering and evil in the world? How is there a good side to the horrors inflicted onto so many?" It's difficult to feel peace when you think about things like this, and no one wants to minimize the pain endured by so many throughout history and in our present society. But the Tao is not a painless way; it is a balanced way. The inflictors of pain are in great pain themselves, though they may not realize it. But consider this: humans are able to feel peace and acceptance even in the midst of unimaginable pain, both physical and emotional. So although we see horrible things, we need to remember the human spirit is stronger than those things. Lao Tzu reminds us that pain is part of the world of form, but the most important side of life is the formless. We can maintain perfect peace and hope if we embrace the formless, even if our physical experience in the world of form is brutally painful. It's only when we lose sight of the formless world that we become overwhelmed by the atrocities of the formal world. When we see things as they really are, we realize the beauty and truth of spirit and energy are immune to the swords of men. 

​

quotes

​

“Regard all things of the world as equal, understand that life and death are cyclical and ultimately the same.”

—  Yin Xi

​​

“Men do not know how what is at variance agrees with itself. It is an attunement of opposite tensions,

like that of the bow and the lyre.” — Heraclitus

​

“Because of the weakness of our senses, we can't judge the truth. What appears is a vision of the unseen...

in everything there is a portion of everything.” — Anaxagoras

​

“The words of arguments are all relative. To reach the absolute, the truth, we have to harmonize opposites and

follow their natural evolution.” — Chuang Tzu

​

“With the realization that appearance is mind, There is no difference between friends and enemies.”

— Marpa Lotsawa

​

“Treating all events the same, accustom yourself to non-duality.” 

—  Mekopa

​

“All existence involves contrasting pairs. When one is present, both are present.

When one is absent, both are absent.”— Wu Cheng

​

“When a person sees All in all, then they stand beyond mere understanding.” — Meister Eckhart

​

“The river and its waves are one surf: where is the difference between the river and its waves? When the wave rises, it is the water; and when it falls, it is the same water again. Tell me, Sir, where is the distinction? Because it has been named as wave,

shall it no longer be considered as water?” — Kabir

​

“The ultimate way of Being lies beyond all contradictory pairs of opposites with which our two dimensional thinking mind operates.

As soon as we are successful in silencing the restless activity of the thinking mind and give a chance to intuition,

the pure all embracing spirit in us will manifest effortlessly.”  — Anagarika​ (Lama) Govinda 

​

“All legitimate religious study must lead to unlearning the differences, the illusory differences, between boys and girls,

animals and stones, day and night, heat and cold.” — J. D. Salinger 

​

“Wholeness, rather than fragmentation, is the basic nature of reality... In effect, the fragmentation expressed in

conventional medicine and in our social relations may be a distortion of nature,

a false premise which has permeated our lives.” — Ralph Alan Dale

​

“…the endlessness of all that is, and the limitation of mortal bodily life, are the same,

and their sameness is the key to the door.” — Ursula Le Guin

​

"Search diligently, pray always, and be believing, and all things shall work together for your good."

— Joseph Smith

​

It is in darkness that the light shines most brightly.

​

​

questions

Form/Formless

Think about things that are concerning you right now in your life. Are these concerns about the "formal" or the "formless"? How could evaluating your life more in terms of the formless rather than the formal change things? 

 

Make a gratitude list of the formless things in your life. How does this change how you view your life?

 

Yin/Yang: How is Yang manifesting in my life? ​​How is Yin manifesting in my life?

​

Where Yang is manifesting, why is it manifesting? Am I responding to an imagined threat? Do I believe that Yang qualities will get me where I want to go? What yang qualities or reactions am I willing to let go of?

​

List as many Yin qualities as you can. Think of specific ways you could embrace these qualities in your life more.

​​

If you feel that Yin energy is too strong in your life, consider what positive Yang qualities you could introduce into your life. Consider things that might require more outward-facing action, more physical activity, or more mental activity, 

​

Light/Dark

What challenges am I facing in my life right now? Think about your work, your relationships, your health, anything. What is the "light side of the hill" in these situations? When I realize the potential good in these challenges, how do my feelings towards those challenges change?

If you are considering making a change in life, make a list of the potential positive results of the change as well as a list of the potential negative results of the change. This should help you make a more enlightened choice.
 

​

affirmations

Nothing in life is entirely good or entirely bad, so I embrace all things equally.

Soft will overcome hard every time.

What matters most is the formless. May my eyes see and my heart value the formless behind the formal.

​

​

I

​